Because of their fundamental sense of worthlessness and compensatory grandiosity, narcissists play by different rules than the rest of us. Here is a short list of things healthy people do that you’ll never see a narcissist do.
The Narcissist’s Never-Do List
Admitting wrong is uncomfortable for most people, but the give-and-take in relationships at times calls for an acknowledgment of fault. Healthy people usually know when they owe an apology and are willing to give it. Whether we interrupt, fail to deliver on a promise, say something hurtful, or lose our temper beyond reasonable bounds, we offer an apology to show respect and caring.
The narcissist, on the other hand, never apologizes. Seeing himself as above reproach, he never feels he has done wrong. His sense of superiority over others reinforces his belief that other inferior beings are always to blame for anything that goes awry, even if the narcissist is actually responsible. Sometimes narcissists express fauxpologies, which are designed to deflect blame back onto others. An example of a fauxpology is, “I’m sorry you are so sensitive and can’t handle real life.”
2. Take Responsibility
Above all, the narcissist repudiates responsibility. Because she has built her identity against fundamental feelings of invalidation, she is intensely sensitive to shame and blame. Responsibility of any kind triggers the narcissist’s threat of exposure to criticism. The narcissist is so averse to responsibility, she systematically stages her life to avoid it and becomes masterful at denying and projecting it onto others, particularly those closest within her sphere of power: her partner and children.