Living with someone with borderline personality disorder

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) not only affects the person who has it, but also the people living with them. People with BPD have difficulty regulating their emotions and behaviour and that can cause a lot of problems for those around them. Fortunately, living with someone with borderline personality disorder means you can help them (and yourself) by setting healthy boundaries, improving communication, and by stabilizing the relationship. By applying the tips and tricks on this page living with someone with borderline personality disorder becomes much easier and less tiring.

Living with someone with borderline personality disorder – setting healthy boundaries.

In school, on the road, at work or in public spaces there are rules and guidelines. These rules and guidelines help us to behave in a certain way. This prevents people from getting confused, fuzzy, angry or upset. These rules and guidelines are healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries are also extremely important when it comes to living with someone with borderline personality disorder, because they make behaviour and expectations predictable within the relationship. At the same time these healthy boundaries in a relationship reduce the chance that people with BPD feel confused, annoyed, angry, upset or sad.
For example: if one of your boundaries is: “no contact during working hours”, then it will be easier for someone with BPD to accept that you won’t pick up the phone if he or she calls you. If you don’t have this healthy boundary, then someone with BPD may start to worry that you don’t want to pick up the phone if he/she calls you, whereas you may be in a meeting at that time.
Although setting boundaries can be quite challenging, in the end they will help build a sense of trust and respect between the two of you.

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