What would you do if you were being abused (physically, emotionally, psychologically, or sexually) by someone you knew or thought you knew? Let’s say that person is emotionally and psychologically abusive and demands that you meet their every need or expectation. How would you cope with this?
For some individuals struggling with an abusive spouse, parent, sibling, boss, etc., getting away isn’t always as easy as they would like it to be. Trying to work with or get along with a “narcissistic abuser” can feel impossible. The Narcissistic Abuser is not only unable to empathize or show concern for other people, but also may feel compelled to make the abused feel smaller than them in order to gain “self-worth.” It is important to remember that narcissists are sometimes abusers and abusers are sometimes narcissists. When you have these two things together, you get a disaster.
This article will discuss a few ways you can learn to cope or escape from the narcissistic abuser. I must add that this article is for both males and females and only touches the surface of the topic.
Have you ever heard of the term “gas-lighting?” Sadly, a lot of people, especially narcissistic abusers, use this tactic. Gas-lighting is another way of defining an individual who minimizes the obvious, denies their role in the issue, and then attempts to turn things around on you so as to confuse you and cause you to second guess yourself. For example, lets say you and your neighbor are not getting along. You speak to your neighbor each day, always greet them with a smile, offered to watch their dog while they were on vacation, and will sometimes even stop to pick up their newspaper every other week. However, things didn’t last long because you now recognize that you feel tension between you and your neighbor. You approach your neighbor letting them know what you are feeling and wonder if there is anything you could do to make things better. Your neighbor may give you a blank stare, make the statement that things are fine, and give you the feeling that you did something wrong by bringing up your feelings. Because you brought up an internal feeling you had you may begin to feel your neighbor distancing herself from you but you can’t understand why the strong resistance.