Beware of ‘flying monkeys.’When it becomes apparent that badgering you to contact them and assassinating your character to everyone they can think of hasn’t gotten them what they want, they will call in the flying monkeys. Psychologists use this term to refer to the people your family recruits to try to guilt you into resuming contact with them.The flying monkey may be a sibling or a family friend. They may initially sympathize with you, but you get the feeling they are not really interested in hearing your version of events. The flying monkey can be relentless in trying to get you to see ‘what you’re doing to your poor parents.’ Regardless of whether they realize it, the flying monkey is being used as a pawn to do your family’s bidding.
Be firm and don’t give in if you know that nothing has really changed.Once you have made up your mind to go no contact, you will endure every narcissistic trick in the book. They will try to make you feel guilty. They will deny your feelings. They will send you pleading emails, begging you to contact them. They will do a very good impression of behaving like an emotionally healthy family if they think it will make you change your mind. The one thing they won’t do, however, is take an honest look at themselves and their behavior.