Where to get help
Unlike some mental illnesses, the primary treatment for BPD is psychotherapy, not medication. Dr. Oldham suggests dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), a specific kind of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) developed in the 1980s to better treat BPD. He also recommends looking into schema therapy, mentalization-based therapy, or any other kind that appeals to you. Just be sure to find a specialist who has experience with treating BPD, says Mattila.
If you don’t feel ready to speak to a professional, Behary recommends books like Love Me Don’t Leave Me by Michelle Skeen ($12; amazon.com) and Reinventing Your Life by Jeffrey Young and Janet Klosko ($13; amazon.com). For additional support and resources you can also contact the Personality Disorder Awareness Network (PDAN) or National Education Alliance for BPD (NEABPD).