A breakthrough came as a result of a very simple statement that Michael made in response to my asking his if he could give me an image of what it felt like for him, growing up in that family. At first he laughed, but then his expression turned sad. “It was like I was on the outside of that so-called ‘family’, looking in.”
I’ve heard this same description of their childhood so many times from men with BPD that I’ve come to see is as a template for working with them. To put it simply, through therapythey need to change their stance in life from “being on the outside looking in”, to “being on the inside, looking out.” In fact, I often refer back to this phrase when setting therapeutic goals and working on them
Recovering from Male BPD
Recovery for men like Michael is not so simple as sending them to an anger management class. It is in many ways as intense as treatment for women with BPD. But it must begin with both the therapist and the man with BPD realizing just what it is that are dealing with, and where its roots lay. The good news is that, with persistence and determination, men like Michael can recover from the emotional burdens that BPD places on them and those who love them.