A tendency toward narcissism is present in everyone, to more or less of a degree. Sometimes you don’t know if someone’s particularly high in this personality quality until you’ve gotten deeply involved in a relationship and come to realize that the very qualities that attracted you to a person are the narcissistic qualities that now annoy you. You may have a sibling, parent, or other relative whose narcissistic personality traits you’re forced to confront but can’t control or challenge. Or you may be forced to work with a boss, co-worker, teacher, student, or employee with strongly narcissistic tendencies.
Just because some people are narcissists doesn’t mean they’re unlovable. People high in narcissism may also be fun, charismatic, or good at what they do. Having them around gives you more pleasure than pain and, in the workplace, enhance your team’s success. You may, if you have a choice in the matter, prefer the idea of “reforming” the narcissist in your life rather than leaving him or her by the wayside. (Some people’s narcissism may make them so vulnerable to rejection that you fear that harm will come to them if you shunt them aside.)
Not all narcissists are created alike, so the way you choose to handle one in your life should be based on which type you’re dealing with. University of Nottingham psychologist Vincent Egan and collaborators (2014), questioned a sample of over 850 online participants to determine the relationship between subjective well-being and narcissistic personality tendencies.