Tips on Having a Relationship With Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder

It is challenging to have a relationship with a person that has borderline personality disorder (BPD), especially since one of the hallmarks of the disorder is unstable relationships. Yet, if your partner or spouse has the disorder, you probably want to do everything you can to maintain the relationship.

Ten Tips for a More Stable Relationship

While a relationship with someone who has BPD may seem nearly impossible at times, there are ways you can facilitate the relationship with that person without having to go on the rollercoaster ride with them as they oscillate between extremes in behavior and mood.

1. Make a Plan and Stick to It

Having a relationship with a loved one with BPD means that you will have to find a way to manage your behaviors so you can manage their behaviors. Coming up with strategies for dealing with your partner’s extreme behaviors will help you keep your sanity.

  • Think about your partner’s behaviors and the effects those behaviors have on you.
  • Make a list of all the behaviors your partner has that upset or frustrate you, including cases where your partner harms you.
  • Devise a plan that will help you manage the behaviors so you can avoid imploding situations once they start and protect yourself so you are physically and emotionally safe.

For example, if your partner accuses you of not caring about him, you can walk away rather than crying. Creating a plan on how to deal with the behaviors ensures that you are not feeding the symptoms of the disorder by ensuring you stay calm in the midst of an issue. You will also be able to reinforce better, productive behaviors.

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