In contrast, most garden-variety narcissists aren’t sitting around strategizing about what they will do next to their unsuspecting partners. That would take too much time away from their self-fulfilling agendas. All they’re concerned with is what they need minute by minute in order to gain the most narcissistic supply — whether from you or another supply source. It doesn’t matter which. If what they desire is being reflected back to them in the form of gratifying experiences or admiration, it doesn’t matter to them which mirror they are looking into.
Inside the mind of the garden-variety narcissist
Narcissists typically act upon their emotions, which are greatly stunted. They have very low emotional intelligence and have never developed any form of emotional resilience. This partly explains why they can appear loving and caring one minute, yet seem to hate you the next. This generally happens when they’ve experienced a narcissistic injury, which is evident in their tendency to snap at the most innocent of comments or questions. Since one can never know what’s going on in the narcissist’s mind at any given moment, what they consider injurious one minute could be completely ignored the next. Do yourself a favor and don’t try to analyze it. As soon as you think you’ve come up with a solution, the rules will have changed.
…and don’t make the mistake of believing that sharing your findings that they could be a narcissist will help. It won’t. This will only instill righteous indignation in them because they are unique and special. If you dare to insinuate there is something wrong with them, be prepared for the explosive outcome.