Lack of accountability is a pet peeve for sure, and also a common problem with narcissists. Although there are many disturbing factors in the personality of a narcissist, this one is tough to deal with in any relationship. It’s hard to understand. What is so difficult about owning up to mistakes when we’re wrong?
Have you ever met a perfect person who has never made a mistake? How about a perfect parent or a perfect family? I don’t think so. We all make mistakes and hopefully grow and learn from each one. Every failure becomes a significant stepping-stone for huge growth leaps in life if that is your worldview and you allow it to happen.
But, being accountable is difficult for a fragile self-esteem. For the narcissist, who has not developed a solid sense of self, and is emotionally stuck at a six-year old level, confrontation does not work well. In fact, when confronted, it is typical to see a six-year old temper tantrum that we call narcissistic rage.