The Seductive Narcissist

Unlike the other types of Extreme Narcissist discussed here, this one manipulates you by making you feel good about yourself. At the office she will appear to admire your work and value your contributions highly, but her ultimate goal is to make you feel the same way about her so she can use you. She wants your support and admiration and will flatter you in order to get it. But when she has no further use for you, she’ll give you the cold shoulder.

How to Cope: It helps to be humble. Don’t be swayed by flattery or excessive admiration, as wonderful as it may feel to receive it. Watch how she treats other people who can’t advance her career or who may be her rivals. Seeing your colleagues suffer under her callous indifference or ruthless competition might give you a glimpse into your own future, once you’ve outlived your usefulness.

The Bullying Narcissist

This is the man who builds himself up by humiliating his colleagues. Though he may share common traits with the Grandiose or Know-it-All Narcissist, he is more brutal about the way he asserts his superiority. He often relies on contempt to make others feel like losers, proving himself a winner in the process. He will belittle your work product or ridicule you at meetings. When he needs something from you, he may become threatening. At his most toxic, he will make you doubt yourself and your ultimate value to your employer.

How to cope: As cowardly as the advice may sound, avoid ruffling his massive ego whenever possible. Don’t fight back in direct ways in order to stand up for yourself: A direct challenge will only escalate his brutal assault on your personality and work product. In the face of his attacks, you’ll need a very strong belief in your own self-worth without having to prove it, and if you find you can’t bear such treatment in silence, you might want to transfer to a different department or look for another job.

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