How to address this:
Heal your subconscious wounding through mind-body techniques and alternative remedies. A great deal of our behavior is actually driven by the subconscious mind; that is why talk therapy alone often does not do justice in healing significant trauma or deeply destructive, ingrained beliefs (Lipton, 2016).
It is also important to note that trauma is often stored in the level of the body; its imprint is left on parts of the brain that do not have as much access to the more rational parts of our brain and thus cannot be healed ‘cognitively’ (Tippet & Kolk, 2017).
That is why in addition to traditional therapy, survivors may benefit from EMDR, EFT, hypnotherapy, trauma-focused yoga, Reiki healing, aromatherapy, sound bath therapy as well as a daily meditation practice and exercise regimen to ‘cleanse’ the subconscious wounding that may be tethering them to these abusive partners or friends.
Speak with a mental health professional to find the therapies that best suit your unique needs or triggers; remember that there is no ‘one size fits all’ healing path for survivors. What may work for one survivor may not work for you, but as you experiment with different modalities, you might just find the right healing ‘package’ to meet your wounds.
Rework existing narratives and modify your behavior accordingly. Psychologists and sociologists believe we construct narratives out of our life experiences to give our lives and identities shape and meaning (McAdams, 2006). Bring any destructive narratives and beliefs you have about yourself, your relationships and the world to the surface – and dismantle them.
You may unravel these through the healing modalities we discussed and you might also discover these by delving into past patterns of feeling, thinking and behaving. How do you speak to yourself and treat yourself on a daily basis? What sort of behaviors do you tend to tolerate or rationalize? How do you feel when navigating the world? What is your personal life story and identity story?