Triangulation is one of the favorite manipulation tools used by narcissists and sociopaths. It can also be a learned behavior that many people engage in who have grown up with a narcissistic parent or dysfunctional family dynamic. However, I think it’s important in any kind of relationship, that we learn to identify the early warning signs and red flags when interacting with people who display narcissistic and toxic behaviors. This way we can better protect ourselves from being exploited and abused and make good decisions about who we allow into our lives.
I am going to describe the 4 most common methods of triangulation used by narcissists and toxic people and the motives behind them.
Narcissists are keen observers. The can identify a kind and generous personality the same way a Great White shark can smell one drop of blood in the ocean from up to one mile away. Narcissists are also skilled observers. They main goal is to control and dominate their partners and… well, just about everyone they come in contact with. This is why the love bombing phase is so key to the narcissist’s success. No matter how confident and self-assured you are at the beginning of the relationship, the constant attention, flattery and fraudulent declarations of love that sweeps you off your feet, both literally and figuratively, leaves you off-balance and vulnerable by default.