The narcissist uses this triangulation tactic to control the information shared between the parties providing the narcissist with the power of being the primary contact person and transferer of information. Since everyone is communicating through the narcissist and not with each other, the narcissist can further their agenda by relaying their spin on the information between the parties.
Emotionally healthy people tend to shy away from the drama that splitting creates. Most people hate to be put in the middle of people’s arguments. The narcissist thrives on it. Also, emotionally healthy individuals don’t enjoy hurting others by sharing mean-spirited comments that others have said about them. Again the narcissist takes much pleasure in it. For example, the narcissist will mention to his/her partner that a family member made a very cruel comment about them and then pretend to be supportive of their partner’s anger and appear to defend them. Not only does the narcissist get to delight in the hurt expression on their partner’s face but they get to swoop in like the hero and pretend to defend their partner. This creates a lot of drama and chaos and is a potent fix of supply for the eternally bored, drama-driven narcissist.
4. THE PRE-DISCARD & DUMP
This is the final triangulation tactic used by the narcissist when he/she has decided to end the relationship. Instead of talking to their partner about this, they will confide in people who again they know will agree with them and believe their rendition of the truth. Sometimes they will confide in people who hardly even know their partner, if at all. The narcissist will make sure to let their partner know that they have been confiding in other people, and every single one of them agrees with the narcissist. Most likely, one of the narcissist’s confidants will assume the role of the replacement partner.
After the break-up, the narcissist will openly brag about how happy they are with their new partner. And if their ex-partner acts jealous or tries to beg them back, the narcissist will enjoy the new bonus love-triangle of their own creation.