How to Spot a Narcissist? By His Anger…

New research confirms that it’s not how a narcissist acts when things are going his way that’s revelatory but when things aren’t. It’s at that moment—when the hidden vulnerability of the narcissistic wound is under threat—that both grandiose and covert narcissists reveal themselves in fullness. So, if you think there’s a narcissist in your life, you need to stop focusing on the external traits—the grandstanding, the self-grooming, the need to be center-stage at a cocktail party or the office, the “Aren’t I wonderful” stance of the grandiose narcissist or the more self-effacing but always self-absorbed and smug, never listening and subtly controlling posture of the covert narcissist—and just hone in on what happens when he finds himself in conflict. It’s at that moment that the leopard reveals his spots

The threat to feeling good

Whether covert or grandiose, the narcissist relies on feeling good about himself and to be happy, he has to sustain it. That’s exactly what a 2016 study conducted by Miranda Giacomin and Christian H. Jordan revealed. So, if you’re wondering whether the person in your life is a narcissist, you need to pay attention to his mood swings when there’s a perceived or real threat in the air. Again, contrary to what appears on the surface—the outward reflection of “Aren’t I great?” on the grandiose narcissist’s exterior and the quiet superiority of the covert one—inside there’s a very thin-skinned individual who can’t brook any volatility. The sensitivity of the narcissist’s internal thermostat is the real tip-off along with his inability to roll with the punches. As the researchers write, “Narcissists, however, did experience greater fluctuations in positive and negative affect on days when they experienced more interpersonal hassles.”

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