How to Spot a Narcissist? By His Anger…

3. Over-reacts  and blames

In his book, The Narcissist You Know, Dr. Joseph Burgo singles out the narcissist’s habit of ascribing whatever pain he’s feeling to the actions of others and wanting payback. When the rest of us fall into a dark mood, we might wrongly ascribe our grouchiness and irritability to others who are beyond annoying in the moment and might lash out. But that’s usually followed by clarity and, hopefully, an apology.  Not so the narcissist: he’s blaming you or someone for how lousy he feels (oh, that feeling of being special is under threat!) and he’ll make someone pay. And, yes, the first accusatory words out of his mouth are “You always…”

4.Vindictive to the max

The vindictive narcissist is actually one of Joseph Burgo’s types but all narcissists have a take-no-prisoners approach to anyone who’s threatened their feeling good about themselves. Their impaired empathy makes them oblivious to emotional consequences so they’ll punch and counter-punch to protect themselves and their vision of things. This is why divorcing a narcissist is often hell on earth; there’s never a negotiation or a meet-in-the-middle possibility. Nope, the narcissist indulges in what I call a “scorched earth” policy.

It’s in conflict or in the wake of a perceived threat that the narcissist is easy to spot. Pay attention to his anger and moods and you’ll be better prepared to protect yourself because you’ll absolutely know whom you’re dealing with.

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