Most psychologists work with individual clients rather than with couples, so they consequently miss out on seeing the narcissistic listening habits.
Furthermore, another reason why therapists seldom note the narcissistic pattern of dismissive listening is because the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) lists the factors that therapists use for diagnosing emotional problems and problematic personality patterns.
Alas, this manual makes no mention of listening deficiencies as a diagnostic factor for narcissism, so therapists tend not to look for them.
Again, psychology in general, and even more so the psychiatrists who write the DSM manual, have historically focused primarily on individuals rather than on what those individuals do when they interact with others.
What are some ways that help you deal more effectively with narcissistic dismissive listening?
1. Do Not Take It Personally.
If someone you know talks with minimal listening, first and foremost do not take it personally. Dismissing what you say as wrong or irrelevant says more about that person than it does about you or what you have said.
Just as you would not take personally the limited hearing ability of someone with partial deafness, realize that your narcissistic friend, co-worker, or loved one has a genuine disability.