Your Narcissist Friend Probably Isn’t Listening to You

2. Repeat What You Said.

Just as you would repeat, perhaps more loudly, what you were trying to say to a deaf person, find ways to repeat, tactfully, the message that you were trying to communicate.

One formula for tactfully repeating a comment that has been brushed aside is first to agree cooperatively with what the narcissist has said. Then, reiterate your prior point. That is, agree, and then add your perspective.

You: The walls in this room are an unusual color of green.

The narcissist: No, they’re not. They’re yellow.

You: Yes, I agree that they are yellowish and at the same time, there’s a lot of green in the yellow, rather like a lime color.

Why are we drawn to narcissistic people?

Narcissists initially can appear to be very attractive. Many narcissistic individuals are good-looking, earn a good living, and are fun to be around.

Women are attracted to male narcissists because they seem powerful, special, and self-confident. Men are attracted to female narcissists who are strikingly beautiful or sexually appealing.

It’s only when narcissists begin to ignore their partner’s concerns and dismiss what their partner says that narcissistic listening disorder becomes a source of relationship tensions.

Watch Dr. W. Keith Campbell discuss the psychology behind narcissism.

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