One of the most difficult things to understand in life is how someone who professes to love you can then go on to abuse you. People feel traumatized and confused after a romantic relationshipwith an abusive narcissistic partner ends. They wonder, “We were so in love, yet he went from telling me that I was the love of his life to treating me like garbage. He cheated on me. He devalued me. He embarrassed me in front of our friends. How can I trust anyone again, if I so badly misjudged this person?”
Anyone who has been abused by a narcissistic partner may wonder how they could have made such a big mistake — and how they can avoid making it again in the future.
The good news is that most people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are very predictable. They tend to follow the same relationship pattern again and again. And, contrary to common perceptions about narcissists, most are not especially devious. Narcissists continually signal that they are narcissists. You can learn to recognize the early signs that a new partner is a narcissist by paying close attention to how they behave toward you at each stage of your relationship. Then it is up to you to decide if you want to continue.