But that is NOWHERE near the REAL truth …
This is the truth … Oh boy this is the truth …
The TRUTH is we have regressed back to the child at the age of our unhealed wounds, and we are assigning the narcissist as the parent to FIX it this time.
This is how this works in our subconscious … “Mum you gave me a hard time from seven years of age about being fat. Now (Narc) I have assigned you as the person replaying what my mother did and I am going to cling to you relentlessly so that this time “Mum” can stop hurting me!”
Whoa – do you understand???
You need to, because it changes everything.
This is the TRUTH of what is playing out – you are bonded to the narcissist trying to fix what Mum did to you when you were seven, and the narcissist is getting an incredible feed of narcissistic supply from you whilst you remain trauma bonded.
This goes for every weakspot that the narcissist is hammering you with. Think about it, and you will start connecting the dots and realising how true this is.
Please understand, it’s not like the average narcissist is a “psychologist” and knows how this works and what is really going on. Unconsciousness is unconsciousness, and unconsciousness means, “I have no idea what I am generating with Life (personal responsibility) or what is really going on with my OWN consciousness (emotional and spiritual health).”
The narcissist is not likely to understand his or her wounded childhood plight let alone yours, but does know how to hook you and get narcissistic supply – as well as punish you to avoid his or her own dysfunctions (painful inner landscape) by lining you up, projecting his or her self-loathing on to you and making you become the “wrong” and “crazy” one.
This is where perpetual victims who are very unconscious go into overdrive. They play the righteous “parent” against the narcissist – they fight back, join Groups, spew damnation, research and share everything they can about narcissists trying to call them out and expose them.
But despite all their highly charged efforts they can never hold the narcissist accountable, they never feel vindicated and they don’t get better.
The reason being – they are NOT meant to heal that way …
Because that orientation is a completely wrong turn away from our healing and only creates a deeper cementing into victimisation.