05. You are swept up in the romance on the first date.
It’s easy to allow yourself to be infatuated after the first date, especially when you are dating a narcissist (they’re so attractive and charming at first!). Even though it typically takes some time for a narcissist to reveal his true colors, there are some subtle signs that you can look out for on a first date to help you steer clear of the second. Look past the “love bombing” and the overwhelming flattery and ask the following questions:
- Is there any back-and-forth in the conversation, or is it total domination?
- Does he accept your opinions even if you disagree with each other?
- Does he act entitled to certain things, or expect special treatment?
- Is he rude to the wait staff or bartender?
- Is he over-the-top on the first date?
- Is he invading your space?
If it’s a resounding “yes” to one or more of these, it’s a sign he does not deserve a second date, even if it occurred at a Michelin-starred restaurant. A narcissist thinks he’s the sun, and he’s looking for someone to orbit around his world and make him look good without causing too much trouble. Being confident in yourself, standing up for your needs and opinions, firmly enforcing boundaries, and not being afraid to say no and walk away, will help send the message to your narcissist that you aren’t going to fit in his self-obsessed world.