The Narcissist’s Way Of Dodging Responsibility
The same might happen during fights, which is often life’s way of challenging us into becoming more real, honest, and emotionally transparent with ourselves and others. Narcissists’ entire defence mechanisms revolve around avoiding emotional transparency and creating a false image of themselves, so it is during fights that you often see most of their avoidance and blame mechanisms.
1. Blow up in anger when challenged to question themselves.
2. Never look at their faults.
3. Point fingers at you instead.
4. Twist your words (or select 2 or 3 words to take offence at out of the other thousand words you truly wished they would hear and answer to.)
5. Often pretend like none of it happened the next day or after weeks of ignoring you.
6. Apologize profusely or swear to change to get you hooked again, without actually learning from or reflecting on the past arguments and challenges.
7. Do ANYTHING to avoid, ignore, and repress where they actually stand emotionally.
They don’t want you to touch who they truly are. They don’t want to themselves. They are terrified of feeling what’s there. They believe that love and security lies in “getting” and “sucking” other people’s energy and attention in superficial ways… because they feel (consciously or subconsciously) that being loved for who they truly are can’t be a reality for them. They are deeply insecure, ridden with guilt and feel ugly inside; hence why they do anything to avoid facing these emotions and project a false reality instead. There is no point in judging them; they are simply hurt individuals who believe they have found a way to avoid hurt. This mechanism has become a way of life to them. It is not who they truly are, but they often don’t even know it.