2. They’ll make you think the problem is YOU.
Most abusive relationships contain a certain amount of “gaslighting“, a technique narcissists use to convince you that your perception of the abuse is inaccurate. During the devaluation and discard phases, the narcissist will often remark upon your emotional instability — your “issues” — and displace blame of his/her abuse as your fault.
Frequent use of phrases such as “You provoked me,” “You’re too sensitive,” “I never said that,” or “You’re taking things too seriously” after the narcissists’ abusive outbursts are common and are used to gaslight you into thinking that the abuse is indeed your fault or that it never even took place.
This self-doubt enables you to stay within abusive relationships even when it’s clear that the relationship is a toxic one, because you’re led to mistrust your own instincts and interpretations of events.