OK, here’s the deal. If you’ve clicked on this article, there is a high chance you are in a relationship with an abusive narcissist AND, you are holding out hope that one day they will change.
You may be scanning the web seeking evidence that your narcissist isn’t as awful as that little voice inside you sometimes begs you to accept.
If you could just find the right magical solution they will change and be the amazing person you know they can be. You just know this can happen, because surely they don’t mean it when they do the horrendous things they do? Surely no one would. And they must be completely unaware of what they are doing…does this sound familiar?
Well the plain, horrific truth is, they do mean it. Their actions are entirely calculated. The narcissist abuses you intentionally.
Whilst many say that people never change. I don’t believe this is true. People can. They do all the time. There are however necessary conditions for this to happen. These are awareness of the behaviour they want to change, and the will to make it happen. This is how I define intentionality.