4. Accusing you of doing things that they are themselves doing
This will put you on the defensive, especially in heated arguments. You are trying to save the marriage or relationship, asking for changes, and to be heard, but they will begin labeling you with their own faults…so if they are negative and critical of you, they say you are like that. The narcissist will depict you as a horrible person, but they will at times accuse you of this in an indirect way. This will frustrate you and of course, you will react negatively, proving their point as far as they are concerned. By diverting the conversation into your numerous and onerous faults, they never discuss the real problems in the marriage. This is called PROJECTION by therapists.
5. This is true, but wait, then THIS is true
If you angrily pull out of the conversation because it goes round and round, the narcissist will start insulting the things they once said they liked about you…you become a terrible person now. You’ll be left wondering who you’re even talking to, because a positive thing is said at one time, then a demeaning and insulting comment later. They love you and they despise you, they think you are a good person, then a very bad person. There is no stability in their view of you. They leave you feeling totally unloved even while saying they love you.