2. Furthermore, your concern indicates understanding of a) how awful the behaviour is, and b) the impact that it has on victims. For you to comprehend these concepts, indeed, to feel them, you must have empathy. As you know, the true narcissist is void of empathy.
3. Your repulsion at the possibility of behaving as a narcissist, of course means that you do not want to be this way. It is therefore fair to consider that the disgust would be a massive motivation to change.
For growth to occur, certain conditions must be met in addition to the will to change. The first of these involves giving honest critical thought to your actions and behaviours. The second is the identification and ownership of the undesirable behaviours you wish to transform. Let’s call this self-reflection. Pursuing an answer to the question ‘How do I know I’m not the narcissist?’ is an act of self-reflection (which by the way, you are doing right now…).
In living a life where a false-self has taken over, the narcissist functions through denial. Both reality and the true self have been set aside. The narc is thus incapable of many aspects required for critical self-reflection and consequently growth. It is antithetical to the narcissistic modus operandi on multiple levels. A belief system that clings to the conviction of being superior over all others, simply does not allow for these possibilities.