Throughout life’s miseries, accidents, awkward moments, mistakes and nearly all social situations, I have the burning desire to scream this into the faces of all those around me: Why do I have to live like this?
So in my mind, the best thing to do is compartmentalize the life around me and hide away from it. Because if I did shout this out at people, I’d look even worse than I already did.
I established in the first meeting with my new college counselor that I have felt the wrath of anxiety and depression throughout the last four years endlessly, even over the simplest of tasks such as going to the supermarket, as well as the big horrible ones, such as exams, deaths, births, making friends and losing friends.
Sometimes this means I have to take a day or so off college, but other times, it’s extended into a week, and during that time I have nobody to talk or vent to. And I slowly start to cordon myself off from the rest of the world.
The problem is, once you lock yourself up in your room and resist leaving, it can become extremely hard to ever do so.