Almost two years ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder with rapid cycling. I go through the motions of highs and lows quicker than most other bipolar individuals, and my life has turned out nothing like the young, naïve child I once was thought it would be. My younger self never knew how difficult it would be to get out of bed some mornings and simply live, just like I didn’t know I could feel so elevated and spend most of what’s in my bank account—what I need to literally get by—in just a day or two. But here I am, years later, an adult and having to function in the real world while living with bipolar disorder.
It’s a love-hate relationship with my mind every day. Some days I’m on top of the world, shouting at it, “Come and get me! Bet you can’t!” and other days, I’m sunk so far into the ground that I can’t find the air around me to take a deep breath and muster out a simple, “Help me…”
But all in all, bipolar disorder is something I have no choice but to continue living with. It’s become a part of me, and I have to deal with it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t learn some important coping skills and life lessons along the way.