The narcissist spent years slowly chipping away at your sense of self and spirit. As a result, healing from complex trauma and PTSD should be an ongoing process.
To be honest, complete freedom from the past isn’t really an attainable (or even an ideal) goal.
This is what people realize as they work through the phases of trauma recovery.
The abuse doesn’t have to (and shouldn’t) be your whole story, but it is a major chapter in your book. It’s unwise, and quite frankly unhealthy, to think that you can simply “snap out” of this mentality while healing from narcissistic abuse.
Healing from complex trauma and PTSD simply doesn’t work that way. And if it did, it would be a dreadful form of spiritual bypassing.