Your Personal Boundaries
Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being manipulated, used, or violated by others. They allow us to separate who we are, and what we think and feel, from the thoughts and feelings of others. They are limits beyond which you will not go and which others are not welcome.
Recovering abuse survivors often find it extremely difficult to implement boundaries because they fear upsetting other people or that setting boundaries may jeopardize their relationships. These are normal feelings to have, but also the major reason why you need to figure out your own boundaries before entering into any relationship – and implement them into your existing ones.
Figuring out your personal boundaries helps you determine what you need in your relationships to feel safe and valued. So, it’s important that you determine which things make you feel uncomfortable and go from there. For example, if you feel disturbed when someone texts you an inordinate number of times while you’re at work or out with friends, this might become a personal boundary regarding your time. Time boundaries are violated when a person demands too much of another’s time. You could set a personal boundary so that you don’t respond to anyone’s calls or texts while you’re at work or out with friends unless it’s an emergency.