Eight Things You Realize Only After You’ve Left the Narcissist in Your Life

7. Not everyone is like the narcissist, but also not everyone deserves your forgiveness equally.

It may be easy to write other people off too in the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist. For a time, we may lose our faith in all of humanity as we realize there are people who will look us in the eyes and lie blatantly for years about the most intimate things in life, who have no qualms about hurting us in the most brutal ways one person can hurt another.

We are used to being able to give people the benefit of the doubt and to forgive. Now, because of our new knowledge, our way of the world may change and can cause us to want to withdraw.

One of the things we will have to further recognize, however, is that not everyone is like the narcissist– we just have to take our new view of the world and figure out how to apply it so that we know who deserves our forgiveness– or even who deserves to be in our lives in the first place.

8. You don’t need the narcissist.  Your life is actually going to be better.

The narcissist became an all-consuming part of your life for so long and implanted the idea that you couldn’t live without them.

Don’t buy it.

I get it.  After they leave, there’s that feeling of freefalling with no safety net.

The relationship has actually provided us with an opportunity to learn more about ourselves.  It provided the opportunity for us to learn about the limits of our capacity to love and trust, to establish the boundaries of what we should tolerate, and to learn what it was about ourselves that the narcissist was able to exploit so that we can ensure it never happens again.

We have been provided with an unprecedented opportunity to grow, to level-up. While it may be painful, the beauty of what it was the narcissist saw in us in the first place has not disappeared, but can actually blossom with a new understanding of ourselves going forward.

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